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fake enormous as little man

So we watched the Golgo 13 episode of Game Center CX the other night; Nicole has never played it, much less played through it (on the other hand, beating that game on a single life is and will probably remain my only "hardcore" video game accomplishment), so she didn't know that the plot ends up involving, among other things, cloning Hitler. There's a jar full of Hitler's angry, angry brain, and the very last thing you do in the game is shoot it with a bullet.

Which led, as these things do, to her observing that villainous sorts are always trying to clone Hitler—specifically Hitler, and not other dictators or tyrants or military generals or whatever.

"Everyone wants to clone Hitler. Why doesn't anyone ever try to clone Napoleon?"
"Maybe they did in an anime; ask Wikipedia. No, I think it's because Hitler had that crazy ideology and that's what they want to bring back."

Later, I realized that she was wrong—sort of—and mentioned it to her in an email:

"You forgot that Cobra used Napoleon's DNA when making Serpentor!"
"It's funny, that, since he, y'know, failed."
"That was only because of stubbornness and hemorrhoids."

At which point I realized that "stubbornness and hemorrhoids" would make an excellent name for a leather-bound index of all my bad decisions.



(on the other hand, beating that game on a single life is and will probably remain my only "hardcore" video game accomplishment)

Damn. I am straight impressed.
At some point I'd love to write either an essay or a website based on the premise of taking excessively seriously the pop-cultural agreement that villainy is encoded in DNA, such that you could just clone Hitler and automatically have him be the same Hitler who presided over the Third Reich, ready to pick up exactly where he left off with no life experience to direct him there in the first place. It would be easy to build up a suitably bloated argument to the effect that pop culture is implicitly teaching us to agree with such things as eugenics and profiling. The only problem is that inevitably someone will find it and agree entirely